Love Isn't Enough
by mrsremusjohnlupin
Summary: After moving away from La Push and the pain that plagued her, Leah receives a visit from the cause of her hurt. Things happen that she knows she'll regret. Read the warnings inside.


**Warning; **Contains smut/lemon/erotica/whatever you call it.

Rated NC17.

* * *

"Jacob," his name rolled off her tongue like it did not belong there, as if it were a foreign language to them both.

He stood in the doorway to her apartment, eyes trained on hers as she half-stood from her spot on the couch.

Leah swallowed as his gaze shifted to her shabby living room. He took in the dirty clothes, unwashed dishes, stained walls, leaking faucet on the kitchen sink, and the cracking floors. Then, his nose scrunched as he inhaled. He continued scanning the floor until his eyes met her feet, bare except for chipped nail polish, and his eyes traveled up her until he found her eyes again.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? You look like shit, Leah."

If anyone would not sugarcoat her current state of living, it was going to be him. But, him just barging into Leah's house and insulting her was not anything she was going to accept.

"It's none of your_ damn_ business- Who are _you_ to just- how _dare_ you?" She had so many things she wanted to say to the person in front of her that they were overlapping each other. Nothing could come out of her mouth fast enough. "How dare you break into _my _house-"

"You would not answer the door-"

"Accuse me of being a failure-"

"I didn't say that at all, actually-"

"Say that I can't make it on my own-"

"Look at the state of the place you are living-"

"Judge and insult me-"

"Well, how long has it been since you've showered?"

"And all without even a simple 'hello, Leah' an 'I've missed you, girl' or even a _fucking_ hug!"

He swept across the room, then, shuffling through the mound of crap covering the floor. Jacob wrapped his arms around Leah, who had begun to shake with rage. For a minute she did not respond, but then she sighed and gave in, putting her head in his shoulder and squeezing him to her.

"I've missed you," he whispered. "You should stop avoiding everyone. We all miss you."

At that, Leah's eyes prickled with a longing she had been trying to ignore. In the presence of Jacob, though, it was much more difficult to manage a stable emotion.

He pulled back, leaving her feeling exposed and hopeless. She curled her arms around herself.

"Why can't you all just let me be?" her voice was quiet and after a moment of no response, she pushed Jacob hard enough to get him to take a step back. Without him so close, she could think properly.

She felt his hand wrap around her shoulders and knew another embrace was to come. Even if she had asked for it, really one was enough. Instead, she jerked out of his grasp and navigated to the kitchen, pulling out a chair and plopping herself into it.

Jacob followed and sat in the empty chair nearest her. "You need to accept everything that is happening, Leah. You can't just hole yourself up in a place and expect to be alone forever. It seems like the easiest idea, believe me, I know," Leah looked into his eyes. "But, it's not. You have proved to everyone that you can make it on your own. Now it 's time to come home."

"Don't try and convince me to leave, because I won't. This is where I live now. This was where I always wanted to live, even when I was little. Don't think I am living here because of Sam and Emily or you and that _thing,_ because-"

The face that had been gentle before turned to one full of fury in an instant. "Don't speak of her like that. Ever, Leah. She is the girl I am going to spend the rest of my life with and you need to accept that, too. Just because she is a vampire-"

A small, desperate sob escaped Leah then, and her forehead hit the dining table. The arms she had curled around herself tightened and she pulled her knees up to her chest, squeezing everything as tight as she could towards her heart.

After a moment of silence, she composed herself enough to speak. She was quiet, but her words spoke volumes. "Fuck you, Jacob. You are blind to everything you don't want to see. And I don't want to see you again. Ever. Just leave."

"You care to explain, Leah? What don't I see?"

She sighed. "Just leave. I'm tired. Let it go."

"Tell me and I'll go."

"It would be best if you just left."

"Tell me. I go. It's that easy."

"Yes," she finally looked up. Her eyes were rimmed with red and she looked twice her age, then. "Yes, you will. Maybe that's the problem."

His eyebrows furrowed together. "I don't understand."

"Of course not."

"Enlighten me."

"Just think, Jacob. Think about it for one _damn_ second. Think about me for one _fucking minute_! That is all I ask of you!" she needed him to understand without saying anything. She could not tell him. "How can you be so BLIND TO WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN!" They were both standing now. She had not seen Jacob get so upset since Bella did such things to his emotions. He had only raised his voice out of frustration, Leah could tell, but it was enough to set her off.

"I CAN'T TELL YOU, FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF!"

"Then SHOW me!" He held his arms out to the side, waiting as Leah hesitated. "Well? LEAH!"

She closed the small distance between their bodies and kissed him with everything she had. Her fingers were on his collarbones as she gripped him tight. She felt what was left of her world burn to ashes with that one kiss.

As she pulled away, she kept her eyes closed, even though her breathing and heart were uneven.

Tears spilled past her closed lashes while she felt and listened to Jacob take a step away from her.

All that she could hope for was to wait for the door to close behind him. Only then could she lose control of her emotions. She waited just a few seconds before he came closer.

For a minute their chests touched, the silence stretching before them unending.

"Look at me, Leah," she was not going to, but there was a roughness to his voice that shocked her. As soon as her eyes met his, she saw an emotion there which she was unable to place. But, it made her swallow, hard.

Their eyes were locked, hers over filling with tears, for what seemed like an hour. Then, Jacob leaned down and kissed her. It was different from how she had kissed him, which was done to prove her point. His held a hunger she had suppressed from her own.

At first she was too shocked to do anything but stand there. But, her lips began to move with his and her hands weaved their way onto the sides of his face. Her heart hammered in her chest as she found herself backed against a wall.

Jacob's hands had stayed at her waist, but began to roam her body as the kiss became more urgent. As Leah flicked her tongue into his mouth, he let out a growl and pushed harder into her body. Their tongues collided and Leah's hands weaved their way into his hair, tugging and pulling as she forced him closer.

One hand went to cup her breast through her thin t-shirt and Leah let out a groan at the contact. His other hand was on her ass then, gripping it tight and pulling her upwards. On instinct, she wrapped her legs around his waist.

With one arm, he took her to the couch. Along the way she striped herself of her shirt. As Jacob lay on top of her, he grabbed a hold of her bra and ripped it in half, exposing her to him.

His lips went to one the second she was free. He kissed, licked, and nibbled around the nipple before sucking it into his mouth. His tongue flicked over it at a rapid pace as his other hand unbuttoned her jeans and Leah arched her back.

"Oh, Jacob," she moaned.

Tongue licking a trail to the other one, Jacob took the nipple into his mouth and gave it the same treatment as the other. He stopped his ministrations to finally free her of the obnoxious jeans that strangled her ankles.

In some part of her mind, she knew that what they were doing was wrong. She was just going to hurt later for this, whatever it was. A moment of release for a lifetime of heartbreak. It would be impossible to forget or not think about. She was just going to break.

Her lips opened to form the words needed to make him stop, but then his mouth went to the inside of her thigh and he kissed a slow trail upwards.

Leah was shaking with want for him. Every thought she had not involving pleasure evaporated.

He growled as she let out a small whimper, nudging her clit with his nose.

Urging him to touch her, Leah tugged on his hair.

But, he just moved farther down, going to the other thigh and licking his way upwards at an agonizingly slow pace.

This time, though, he did not stop. His tongue dipped inside of her core and she made a mewling noise in the back of her throat as she felt his warmth inside of her.

His tongue swirled and dipped inside of her as he moved a free hand to her clit. He rubbed her in circles, eyes focusing on her as she glanced down at him.

She was not sure what it was he was doing after awhile, all she knew was that it felt _so_ good and that she was _so_ close and _all she wanted was to come_.

And she did. Her world went black and all that she could focus on was the darkness in her vision and searing pleasure running through her veins. She was at the very peak of her climax when she screamed Jacob's name and he glided himself into her. At some point he must have taken off his own pants.

"Ah," she managed to somehow speak as she came down from the high. He was thrusting in and out of her, meeting her welcoming hips with the momentum. Any sense of control he had when teasing her before was now gone.

She could feel another climax coming, just needed him too. His hand reached between them to continue rubbing her clit in a circular motion.

She knew Jacob was really gone when he started mumbling incoherent things. Just phrases or words that she thought she might have been repeating. When she arched her back and came for a second time, the darkness now a brilliant white light, she heard and felt Jacob come with her.

"Leah!" he growled before collapsing on top of her, panting and sweaty. It took him awhile to catch his breath, and when he did, he used his energy to prop himself up.

She was not sure what to expect when he looked into her eyes. If he even would. Now that it was over, the negative response was inevitable. Remorse. Guilt. Nothing good would come of this. Her heart was already broken beyond repair and, coming out of her high, she felt even more alone than before.

When their eyes met, though, his held the same look she could not place earlier. Her eyes widened slightly as she came to the realization of what the look contained. Desire. And them having just had sex did not make it disappear.

"I love you, Jacob," the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them.

She did not even have time to regret it before he spoke. "I love you too, Leah."

Then he stood, grabbing his jeans from the floor and pulling them up. He was trembling and would not meet her unwavering gaze as he said, "But love isn't enough anymore."

He moved to her and placed a kiss between her eyes before he walked to the door. She was too drained to say anything. She knew he was going to leave forever, but there was nothing she could say to stop him.

He paused, half-way in the doorway, to peer back at her. She felt exposed suddenly, completely naked on the couch. She pulled the blanket from the back of it and covered herself up.

"I'll be back tomorrow," he gave her a small smile before slipping out. "They are expecting me soon, now, though."

Relief and pain swam through her. It was not something that could be permanent. She could barely even have time to think about what this meant before she fell into a nightmareless sleep for the first time since she could remember.

* * *

_Author's note_;

So this was not my first attempt at a lemon… but my first was **really **just dreadful.

Not that I have _never_ written smut, which I did often when I roleplayed, but never **all** on my own with my own story and ending.

As per _all_ my Twilight fics, _**Delta**_ (deltadecapitated) was my Beta, and she knows how **amazing** I think she is. (:

I _bow_ to you, reader of my whole smutty fic. Now **please** let me know if you liked it and/or what I can improve on. I ain't too proud to beg.


End file.
